Embracing My Introverted Nature: A Journey to Self-Acceptance and Growth
This book is a bible for the quiet warriors and for the extroverts to understand the world of introverts.
For years, I pondered how my introverted nature could stay relevant in a world dominated by extroverts while overcoming anxieties and social awkwardness. Being shy often led to misunderstandings, with people possibly perceiving me as snobbish or aloof. In reality, I'm just quiet, reserved, and have little need for attention. Although I warm up slowly, I can be very talkative with close friends or when I am passionately sharing about things. My primary and secondary school reports regularly noted my quiet nature and the need for more “active class participation”. To challenge my fear of public speaking, I became a teacher, having a passion to share what I love, progressing from teaching music to teaching yoga and now sound healing, and into other forms of speaking and facilitating engagements. This journey showed me that changing my mindset and letting go of self-limiting beliefs could lead to significant breakthroughs and personal/professional growth.
I prefer solitude and avoid large social gatherings these days unless its meaningful and valuable, as they drain my energy. Perhaps too much clubbing and partying in my younger days? haha… I prefer more intimate settings as I get older. And will only be really selective in which “large gatherings” of sorts to attend, even gigs. Small talk and initiating conversations are not my strengths, leading to social awkwardness.
This was especially challenging when I was in the media spotlight, struggling to balance my introverted self with the extroverted demands of the entertainment industry. Now, being less in the public eye, I feel more comfortable and confident, embracing my introverted traits with self-compassion and the attitude of “ I just be who the fuck I want to be.” This carefree attitude allows me to be as authentic as I am without the need to conform to the projections of how others or how society thinks I should be.
Discovering this book was a godsend when it launched 12 years ago, offering so many answers I’ve had for many years and also includes extensive research I could relate to. It explores the historical shift from the 19th-century ideal of character virtues like honour and integrity to the 20th-century focus on personality virtues like charisma and dominance. The media since the early 20th century has been heavily promoting the extroverted ideal, encouraging people to be more vocal and outspoken, sidelining introverts. This Extrovert Ideal has shaped society, often marginalising the quiet and shy.
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In 1922, Woodbury's soap warned, "All around you people are judging you silently," while Williams Shaving Company advised, "Critical eyes are sizing you right now. Let your face reflect confidence, not worry! It's the 'look' of you by which you are judged most often."
In the 1930s, Lux laundry detergent ran an advertisement featuring a letter to Dorothy Dix, the "Dear Abby" of the time. The letter read, "Dear Miss Dix, How can I make myself more popular? I am fairly pretty and not a dumbbell, but I am timid and self-conscious with people. I'm always sure they are not going to like me...Joan G."
This reflects the rise of a competitive culture and hunger for social validation fuelled by media influence, leading to widespread anxiety, self-esteem issues and skewed perspectives of life.
Shocking as it is, Carter-Wallace exploited this by releasing the anti-anxiety drug Milton in the 1950s, framing anxiety as a natural product of a dog-eat-dog society. Within a year, one in twenty Americans had tried it. By 1960, a third of all U.S. prescriptions were for Milton or a similar drug, Equanil. Advertisements emphasized anxiety as a common problem, with Equanil stating, "Anxiety and tension are the commonplace of the age," and Serentil targeting social performance anxiety with "For the anxiety that comes from not fitting in."
My stomach churned with disgust at this brainwashing conditioning madness. This history speaks volumes about today's prescription drug overdoses and abuses, essentially birthing Big Pharma.
In my own experiences that I can speak about: I took antidepressants like Zoloft and Xanax for over three years to cope with anxiety and self-esteem issues, but they nearly destroyed my life with worsening issues and side effects . I was advised to take them for longer term in low-doses but wasn’t taught proper life skills to actually cope or prevent further spiralling. I felt my soul and spirit being wringed out of me and being sucked into a black hole of the pharma industry.
Realizing that profit was the main objective of these medications and the lack of support for dealing with root issues, I decided to boycott them altogether. They robbed me of my life, leaving me numb, empty, angsty and disempowered. Thankfully, my yoga practice and natural healing methods I was interested in helped me find self-love and vitality through natural herbs and healing remedies.
The book then delves into data, statistics, case studies, and stories that resonated deeply with me, providing insightful and reassuring perspectives on my experiences.
As I get older and work on my self-expression and communication, I've become more adept at being an "ambivert." I can be communicative and alittle extroverted when needed, especially things surrounding my passion that lights me up, or in my work within the wellness and hospitality industry, which requires a proactive attitude and willingness to be "out there" to some extent. However, having strategic boundaries set that involves plenty of time for preparation and downtime are needed to perform at my best while able to take care of myself without burning out.
I've been following Susan Cain on Substack and wish my teachers had supported my "quiet, reserved" nature with empowering comments like those in this guide below.
The Quiet Life with Susan Cain
Some of my Favourite Quotes within the book:
“ Solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the air they breathe."
“Introverts are drawn to the inner world of thought and feeling, said Jung, extroverts to the external life of people and activities. Introverts focus on the meaning they make of the events swirling around them; extroverts plunge into the events themselves. Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone; extroverts need to recharge when they don’t socialize enough.”
“Soft power is quiet persistence.”
“…a 2010 University of Michigan study shows that college students today are 40 percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago, with much of the drop having occurred since 2000. (The study’s authors speculate that the decline in empathy is related to the prevalence of social media, reality TV, and “hyper-competitiveness.”)”
This book will be an empowering resource for harnessing the strengths of being an introvert.
A side note about media propaganda: Edward Bernays, the nephew of psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud and a pioneer of propaganda, who rebranded it as public relations, played a significant role in shaping American culture through media manipulation. This context explains the manipulative and disempowering propaganda slogans mentioned earlier. Of course, the "American Standard" of culture was influential worldwide, and certain cultures may take inspiration from these approaches.
This documentary highlights the relationship between Freud and Bernays, offering a “deep examination of the rise of psychoanalysis as a powerful means of persuasion for governments and corporations. It also explores how this influence shaped contemporary society, lifestyles, and marketing.”
Make your own deductions from this.
'Industry standards' as we know about marketing and advertising stem from this influence. However, with the collapse of old systemic values and the rise of new thought and leadership, some methods will persist while others must change. Cultures, corporations, and governments will need reform and adjustment to sustain 'influence' in our world going forward with more inclusivity and empathy.
Humanity has a long way to go.
What do you think?
00:00 - Happiness Machines
57:54 - The Engineering of Consent
1:56:08 - There is a Policeman Inside All Our Heads; He Must Be Destroyed. 2:54:40 - Eight People Sipping Wine in Kettering
Don’t hesitate to share your insights by leaving a comment below. Your input could add valuable perspectives to this article, and help engage with other readers. Thank you!
Namaste,
Amanda
Amanda Ling
Sound To Ground
View my bio